Spring Agora Alicante 2011: Spanish proverbs

One of the main mistakes of the spaniards while speaking english is trying to make a direct translation of the proverbs, while in every language they are different and there are very few cases when this works.

This is a guide for the funniest ones:

From lost to the river à In for a penny, in for a pound (Now that we are in this situation, I don't mind to go further)
The ocassion is painted bald à You have to strike while the iron is hot (You have to make the most of the chances that come your way)
If I have seen you I don't remember à Long absent, soon forgotten (You forget about people when they aren't involved in your life for a long time)
A lot of noise and few nuts à All mouth and no trousers (Refers to those who speak a lot but take no action)
Bad grass never dies à The devil looks after himself (Bad things don't disappear)
There is everything in the vineyard of the Lord à There's nothing so queer as folk (There is nothing as strange as people)
Is the same dog with different collar à It's the same people under a different name (Nothing has really changed)
In love and war, any hole is a trench à Any port in a storm (When you're in trouble, any way out is a good way out)
He who went to Seville, lost his chair à Finders keepers, losers beepers (If you leave your place, you lose it)
World is a tissue à It's a small world
Where there is a skipper, a sailor doesn't give orders à If two men ride on a horse, one must ride behind (What the boss says goes )
Give me bread and call me silly à Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me (I don't care what people say as long as I get what want)
From a fallen tree, everyone makes lumber à Anyone can kick a man when he's down (Anyone can make a profit from someone's disgrace)
From that stick, that chip à The apple doesn't fall far from the tree (Kids are just like their parents, good or bad)
Two tits are mightier than two wagons à A woman's pubic hair pulls more than a tractor (The ability of women to get things in their favour ~~due to their beauty and sexuality~~)
God raises them and they meet each other à Birds of a feather flock together (People who act similar at the end are together)
In the house of a blacksmith, wooden knife à The cobbler's children go barefoot (Not always what he preaches is what he practices)
He went looking for wool and came back shorn à All that glitters isn't gold (Not everything it's like it looks like)
As we were speaking of the King of Rome, look who dropped by à Speak of the Devil, and he's sure to appear (When you speak about someone and this guy appears suddenly)
A bird in the hand is worth more than a hundred flying à A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush (Better what you have than what you are wishing looking at it)
Waking up earlier won't make the sun rise any quicker à You can't push on a rope (Some things cannot be changed)
Whoever wants fish, go get their ass wet à There ain't no such thing as a free lunch (If you want to achieve something, you must make an effort in order to get it)
Shoemaker, to your shoes à Cobbler, stick to your last (Stick to your own business and do not meddle in things you don't understand)